How to relive freshman year

Senior year is tough. You’re now realizing that when they said “you have four years to figure it out,” you should’ve taken them seriously and figured something out. So let’s go back to freshman year with the top 6 ways to act the freshman part.

  1. That lanyard. You love the lanyard! What a convenient way to keep your ID and your keys all together and easily grab-able. Wear it around your neck – it’s like a necklace only more practical and, idk, maybe more fashionable as a freshman. Wear it sticking out of your pocket – that way you can access it very easily and you still have the fashion aspect. You want to be seen with that lanyard, that way people know you know what’s up.
  2. Always be confused. Whether you’re walking to class in a new building or figuring out how to get the books you requested at the book store, keep that confused, i-have-no-clue-what’s-even-happening look on your face at all times. Then people will know without a doubt that you’re a freshman
  3. Go to Hubble. What a wonderful world where endless buffets exist. Try the grilled cheese with apple slices in it – there’s absolutely no way that can go wrong. Get the sub, and work past whatever chewy goodness you just found in the meat they supplied you. Try the omelettes, always made to order and always just runny enough that you’ll definitely need both a spoon and fork to finish.
  4. Try sports. Go to a football game – everyone loves football right? And lucky you, you’ll have the entire student section all to yourself! Get involved in intramurals in anticipation of the unavoidable freshman 15. Quit after the second game though because volleyball just isn’t your thing.
  5. Be too much.  When you’re out, talk to everyone because they could be your new best friend for all you know. When you’re in class, answer every question even though you are definitely wrong (but hey, overconfidence is key!). When you flirt, make it count. Because you may be a 4 talking to a 9, but you’re a freshman and you’re built to last through these embarrassing miscalculations (aka 4 ≠ 9).
  6. Join a club (or twenty). After, reminisce on how empty and clean your inbox was before you decided you wanted to be in the outdoors club, and maybe get involved in fly-fishing, but probably also join a student senate committee. Who needs free time when you could be filling your days with activities, avoiding your homesickness and the realization that you are actually finally on your own.

Freshman year was a blast. But I feel like I’ve come a long way. I still have no clue what I’m doing like 80% 95% of the time, but I’ve wiped that look off my face in order to trick people into thinking I’m collected. The trick doesn’t work when you accidentally set your alarm for 8 am for your 8 am (see where that doesn’t make sense?) and walk in 10 minutes late. But for the most part I’m pretty crafty about convincing people I’m put together. That will backfire in May when I can’t bring myself to walk across the stage at graduation because I still have no clue what’s on the other side. But for now I’m gonna keep this going. Senior year I’m taking you on.


One thought on “How to relive freshman year

  1. oh smalls…i still remember your first day of class when I ran into you on campus and you didn’t know how to get to Howard Hall!! Doesn’t that feel like forever ago??? Btw…remember that you are so not a four…that will help you when flirting and also when applying for jobs. You’re a 10 and everyone wants to hire a 10.

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