New is good

Packing up my things was nothing new. I condensed and smushed and chose wisely the things I’d like to take with me to Chicago. My oversized Des Moines Public Schools sweatshirt and my Clueless DVD made the cut.

Pulling out of my driveway and not knowing exactly when I’d be back was very new. Everything has been so temporary until now. Although I left the majority of my things at home(?), I could still feel the weight of the situation as I drove away from the only house I’ve ever known.

Driving five and a half hours was not new. The half hour of solid tears was.

Moving boxes into my Clark Street Studio was new. Luckily I had my best friend to help me haul. And her dad to doubt my intelligence when I lost my keys 60 seconds after receiving them.

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I forgot silverware and a razor and hand towels. But that wasn’t a huge shock to me and I’m working through it.

I bought a vegan cream cheese alternative. Because I hate Whole Foods with all my heart. Admittedly, it’s not terrible.

I took a walk today to the lake. In order to feel like I got some sort of exercise. I brought a book but I mostly just watched the waves and reflected on having a total of 2 friends in this entire state. That’s new.

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My wifi only works in certain places in my apartment. I’m thinking of marking these areas off with tape so I never forget, and don’t have to deal with The Office freezing up on me.

Speaking of offices, I like mine. It’s a corner cube with a window view. They threw me right into projects and tasks. I’ve met a lot of new people. They curse more than I do, and I want to impress them. Not with my cursing, hopefully with my hard work ethic and commitment to excellence. Maybe with some cursing mixed in there… I mentioned my love of pork products today and so I’m nervous they have already classified me as a cow tipping, rodeo loving Iowan.

I’m entering a new stage of my life and it feels like when you walk into a room at a party and you don’t know anyone there. You’re quiet and polite because you don’t know what this room will be like but you want to get involved in the conversation, maybe share a laugh. You just need one person to say “Sorry who tf are you?” and you can begin to charm them with your mean sarcasm and witty comebacks. In this analogy, the room is an entire city. And in this city, everyone is way too busy to worry about who tf I am.

I’m happy that I’m not sad about my lack of friends. Just curious to see if new friends will fall from the sky or if I’ll actually have to make some sort of effort. Hoping for the first, dreading the second. Enjoying the comfort of my subleased bed.

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2 thoughts on “New is good

  1. Sounds like you’re off to a good start :) I got lucky on my 4.5 hour drive cuz you were there to hold back the tears…but I definitely cried when everyone left, and on the way back to la crosse the first several times we visited home! It gets easier. And friends happen–you should find a good church!!

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