Things that make me a real (if also maybe sort of disfunctional) adult

Where do I start…

Yesterday I didn’t have enough quarters to both wash and dry my laundry. But I also didn’t have any clean towels. Catch 22 I think they call it. So I washed my things and made make-shift clothes lines out of shelves and other objects in my apartment.

I found $0.35 on the washing machine. So technically the whole deal only cost me $0.65. Thrifty.

>>

Speaking of money. I have a negative amount right now basically. I only got one paycheck for the month of June. So that covered rent, parking, and half of my metra pass. City livin.

>>

Speaking of money. This is what really makes you an adult I think, when all your stories are about money. Saturday night we went out in a swanky part of town. I discovered the hard way that $11 was the average cost of a whiskey/diet. Had to decide then if I was going to turn on the charm or become the babysitter for my non-intern friends. (They could afford a few $11 drinks.) Turns out the charm worked! Or maybe it was the lie… I mean it could’ve been my 21st birthday, they’ll never know the real truth.

>>

Speaking of money. Some rich SOB thought that making it rain in the club would make him look cool. I thought it was very cool when I went home with 3 extra dollars in my pocket. I thought it was strange when people walked right by the dolla dolla bills on the ground like they were worthless. That was 1.5 loads of laundry I earned just from being alert to the smell of nearby money up for grabs. It was like those people on gameshows in the money booth. A little desperate and sad, but they walked away with money, uk? Now I understand them.

>>

Slowly I’m learning to deal with lukewarm showers. It’s way easier than developing any kind of patience while the water warms up. Plus I don’t like to waste that much water, seems irresponsible.

Today my shower involved stepping out into a crunchy, air dried towel.

>>

I bought ear plugs. Because a new neighbor moved in upstairs. And he likes to do jumping jacks and move furniture when he gets home at 11 pm. And he weighs 500 pounds. He’s not all to blame for my adult onset insomnia. It also may have something to do with the sirens & motorcycles & delivery trucks outside my window at all times of the night. The ear plugs are effing magic.

>>

I got my first adult haircut. My best friend told me it would make me look more mature, professional. The first thing I heard after it was chopped was “you look so much younger!” Since then, I’ve heard the words cute and adorable, but never mature. You win some you lose some. On the bright side I’m going to save so much money on shampoo.

>>

I went to the grocery store and bought things based on price per ounce rather than brand or quality (unnecessary factors now). I can eat Philadelphia cream cheese again when I get a real job. Kind of a good motivator.

>>

I had a lean cuisine for lunch.

 

 

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